It is worthwhile to acknowledge as our first lesson, how the confessions of others can set someone else free. The person who shared, did so from a place of ownership and responsibility. That’s a great place to start! Those things we hide, mask or justify have an incredible grip on us. It controls us, while we think that we are controlling other people, events and situations. Even deeper, what we are really trying to control is our is fear of being found out. Nicole Daedone says, “Fearful women are NOT orgasmic.” Better still, is a deeper fear of no longer having “that story”! We would be left to be responsible for what is ours to own, even our pleasure. Oh MY! It could even mean that the meaning we’ve given it – may be false. (GULP!)
Stories create a groove in our mind, thoughts and words that become filters, habits and core beliefs. Sometimes the stories are inherited. Before we know it, we have a stage play or the ingredients of a Emmy-award winning series. The challenge is that these stories are often-fear based. Fear-based thoughts feed our will or starve it. When we over-eat a steady diet of worry, anxiety, judgment and powerlessness, then we put on the weight of burdensome stories. When we lack the nourishment of affirmative words or nurturing, inspired text, prayer, meditation and loving associations, we become fragile and weak. Either way, it’s frustrating. It is the difference between being “willing” and “willful”. Charles Fillmore says, ” Willfulness makes tenseness. Persons who are contentious for their personal rights place themselves in bondage to material conditions and stop spiritual growth. The will is not to be broken, but disciplined.”
Discipline, what a concept! Fear-based drama will have you scattered energetically, all over the place. Louise Hay says, ” The subconscious mind does not have a sense of humor”. That is to say, when we attach intense feeling to our habitual thoughts we are always choosing or creating, whether we know it or not. Not to mention those of us who enjoy being “right”: Right about how rough it’s been, right about the pain someone caused, right about our innocence or just, right about the way we see things. I ask, “Do we really want to right or do we want to be free? Which is a love story, freedom or being right?” Drama Queens/Kings need disciplined practice! If discipline is a bad word to your as it sometimes is to me then replace it with BLISS-cipline. Since I am following my bliss on this journey, every choice, decision and practice serves my desire for more bliss. I choose freedom whenever I can see my bondage.
Rev. Dr. Iyanla Vanzant, my mentor, always tells us that “repetition is the mother of skill”. If we just practiced “the basics”, we could leverage our skills to write new screen plays in our life. A play that we create the opening, creshendo and ending. We could use the vivid expression and contrast attached to empowering language to heal, love and lift those in the audience of our lives. Responsibility and ownership does not have to be held as a burden. It’s an opportunity. Drama doesn’t have to be held as “bad” or “tragic”. It can be however the climax (a high point) of a beautiful unfolding. Each day, each moment, each second, we get to choose which role we will play; victim, villain, victor or vixen. We can be the life of a perpetual party, celebrating and embracing our unique ability to become the executive producer, actor/actress, creative director and writer of our own play.
Finally, rituals (tools) that discipline or pleasure filled BLISS-cipline us and builds the will with The Divine are:
1.) Rehearsals (practice “positive” pretending)
2.) Using your voice (speak aloud through prayer/affirmation)
3.) Edit with meditation & visualization (if you get it offtrack – realign yourself by omitting or adding)
4.) Score the sound-track (sing, dance, worship, play and praise)5.) Serve! (it’s not always about you)